Atempo Time Navigator: When to deploy

Atempo’s Time Navigator is enterprise-class backup software. It combines not only being hard to understand, with being hard to use, in fact it is equally hard to work out for the skilled engineer and the lowly tape changer alike. Its many features include: mystery licensing issues, mystery subcomponent shutdowns, multi-machine mystery failures along with full-partial automation: requiring you to only write, debug and maintain scripts for half the backup process. It comes with full documentation which will have anyone (including speakers of other languages) up and befuddled in just a few months. And, it delivers this exact same experience across Windows, Mac and Linux, seamlessly.

I’ll be scrupulously honest and say that I haven’t always been Time Navigator’s number one fan, but there are still many circumstances where it is clearly the best choice. This handy, concise guide aims to help you identify when this is:

  1. The cold, unyielding barrel of a Pakistani-knockoff AK47 is pressed against your nostril. Gently but unmistakably bending your nose out of shape. An out of focus figure at the business end of the Kalashnikov shouts: “Use Time Navigator, or we light your head up”
  2. A loved one is suspended upside-down by the ankles over the side of a tall building. Their screams have given way to incoherency, and your whole family is sitting, bound and gagged on the rooftop. A voice shouts in your ear: “Use Time Navigator, or we let go!”
  3. You’re tied into an uncomfortable chair. Your severed index finger joins your thumb in being waved in front of your face. The figure holding your fingers shows you the pliers and says sympathetically: “There’s still 8 to go, why don’t you use Time Navigator while you can still learn to write again?”
  4. You are disconnected from the car battery long enough to regain your senses. A gloved figure pours some hydrochloric acid into a martini glass, offers it to you and says: “Of course you have a choice!”
  5. They aim the Death Star at your home planet.

Of course, the best backup software solution can only be decided by administrators with a full grasp of their particular needs. But clearly, Time Navigator will often be the standout. Hopefully this guide has made this difficult, serious decision a little clearer.

  1. This really cracked me up ! Very funny and an utterly precise description. When trying to establish inhouse backup procedures for a posthouse we’ve looked at it, tried it and felt heavily intimidated. In an attempt to make IBM TS 3100 LTO3 hardware play nice on a G5 Mac, we tried all – I mean ALL – the solutions we could find. Ended up with BRU Producers Edition.


    Steen Dongo
    Picturewise Film

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